Hope you all are doing well and making the best out of your beautiful self. Today, I am writing a very special post which is dedicated to “motherhood” and I am pretty sure that after reading this post, you’d definitely hug your mum and if your mum is not there, just hug the one who stands after her … I am just summarizing everything so that this post doesnt get boring ...
When I found out that I am expecting, I was teeming with both excitement and fret. Excitement; that I finally get to experience and feel what is called *pregnancy* and fret; whether I was ready for this huge change. The first few months (the initial 3-4 months) were monsters for me and I felt miserable. I had the most active senses; the smell and the taste … and I puked a lot. Not to mention the mood swings, and man were they terrifying and bad. All I wanted to do was to cry and just go back to my parents and never come back, or just rewind everything and get back at being single.
But then time passed and I was on the heavenly diet of cheesecakes and gourmet ice-creams (nom nom) as I was told (by my parents and my relatives back home) that I have to eat for two. When confided by the books and the doctors, I really did have to eat for myself and no one else. Yes, I had to eat healthy but definitely not for 2! And the mood swings were still there … dammit!
Anyway, overall my pregnancy went really well apart from the morning sickness and all the vomiting from the first trimester. I was thankful to God for whatever I went through was never like my friends and God their pregnancy was really bad.
Moving on, during my 8th month of pregnancy, I could hardly walk as my pelvic bone ached really bad but still I wanted to go out and walk the whole Oxford Street, I know, silly me. But I had to walk as it was highly recommended. Anyway, my baby was due on the 24th of April and by that time, there was no sign of the baby whatsoever. Then on the night of 25th April, I started having some kind of pains which I misunderstood by what the books said, “contractions” , I was taken to my hospital where I was to give birth to. After arriving there, I was told that the pains were not contractions and I was in the first stage of labour. The pains were hideous and I thought to myself, if these aren’t contractions then what are?
The pain, then started to kick in, as in, the intensity build in and they were miserable. I haven’t felt the kind of pain before, never in my entire life. Initially I told the nurse that I will NOT take epidural whatsoever and I would just take Gas and Air (which is supposed to ease up the pain) but I decided to go with the epidural as I tried every pain killing medication given to me. Despite of all the harsh stuff I heard about Epidural, I took it nonetheless and I tell you, the moment it was given to me, I was in heaven … though my legs and lower abdomen were numb and I couldn’t feel or move them, the pain was nowhere to be found.
My labour lasted for about a day and a half (more that 36 hours ... ) which had a lot of pain in the beginning, some really tasty meals, a very lovely midwife whom I talked to and felt good and at 3 a.m. in the morning of 27th of april, my God blessed me with a baby girl who looked just like her dad (and she still does), and that was the time when I missed my mum so much that I cant tell. Although my mother in law was by my side all the time and I am utterly grateful to her for bearing with my babblings during the labour, I missed my mom so much.
I tell you guys, being a mom is NOT an easy job. I though now that I am done with this whole phase of pregnancy, I ll just chill and relax. Oh no! this is the time where you have to be on your toes! The little ones need you 24/7. Forget about sleeping in the nights as your nights will be spent with sounds of baby cry, your hands will be busy changing nappies and you’d forget what you look like as you wont find time to look at yourself in the mirror. This is my personal experience and let me tell you, I did, for some time, went into post-natal depression.
Now that my girl is 9 months old now, I wonder when will I ever go back to the life that I used to have before. Those sleeps where I used to dream about prince charming and me riding a horse where he used to take me to exotic locations for our dates! In my case, I ll have to wait for another 2 years for these dreams to kick in as my little one DOESN’T sleep throughout the night.
My days and my nights are dedicated to her and I tell you, the feeling of watching her grow just amazes me. There she was a few months back when I was scared of holding her as she was so small and fragile .. and here she is now, babbling and all jumped up; wants to do everything she could at once…. Its just overwhelming …
And then I miss my mom again, that the daughter I am, with all the tantrums and wishes which were tolerated and fulfilled without demanding anything, I have realised what a mother’s worth is after being a mum myself. No wonder heaven lies under her feet.
They say, you’d never realise the true value of a thing or a person, without being away from them or loosing it. And I say, I have realised what my mum is for me.
I love you mum …